What Happens When You Make Assumptions

August 31, 2020

Shoshone Lake, Yellowstone

The Wandering Therapist is in Yellowstone National Park recounting a miscalculated assumption that he made a few weeks prior. This is one of the 4 Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz, “Don’t Make Assumptions”.

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What's going on you guys tired of the wandering therapist here. I met to Schoen lake in Yellowstone National Park. I've just gotten finished canoeing just over seven miles from Lewis lake up to she's shown Lake through the river. Had to hike a little bit bit of a portion there because it got too shallow. But I want you guys to see this amazing beauty around me. You can kind of see how wide open it is I hope you can get a feel for how serene it is. I just wanted to share a little quick tip with you today. This comes in another tip from the four agreements I shared one of a while back on not taking anything personally but there's another one of the agreements I wanted to talk about today and it has to do with the last couple of camping trips that I've done. About two weeks ago I was in the Wind Rivers in Wyoming backpacking and I took my family and when I took my family in winter as I told them that the mileage on the map that I had mapped out from the trailhead to where we were gonna be camping was going to be about eight miles. All said and done by the time we got there it ended up being just over 10 miles and from the time we hit eight miles to the tenth mile those last two miles everybody was in pure misery. And the reason that they were in misery is because their expectations were not being met. They'd expected to be done at 8 miles. Unfortunately there was another two miles to go. So there was 25 percent more of the hike than they anticipated and they had assumed that the map was right and that I was giving them correct information and because they had made an assumption they suffered for two more miles for 20 percent of their hike was added suffering because they had assumed something that wasn't actually true. Well this just happened again today. We were supposed to be paddling six miles and we're up over seven miles and the last mile I swear I was paddling directly into the wind and because we had all assumed it was gonna be six miles we suffered more because our expectations hadn't been met and we ended up having to paddle for an extra mile and it kind of put a little bit of emotion on edge and obviously the physical toll on it too. And I was just thinking about how that's so true in other parts of our lives. What is the price of making assumptions in the four agreements it says Never make assumptions if you can live your life and never make assumptions you'll instantly decrease the amount of pain and suffering in your life because you now won't have to deal with unmet expectations. You won't have to read between the lines and assume things especially negative things in relationships with other people until you've checked it out with them. So don't make assumptions. If if you've got something going on right now maybe you've got a resentment toward somebody or you've got a longstanding feud with somebody and everything they do seems to be directed directly at you despite you or to hurt you it might not hurt to let go of the assumptions and to get curious with the other person and check out what their intentions really might be instead of just living as if your assumptions are actually the truth letting go of those assumptions provides an opportunity for freedom. It also leads us into a place where we can just be present in the moment that we're living. I didn't need to check my mileage on my phone today. I could have just kept paddling and enjoying the scenery. I missed a mile of this scenery because I was checking my mileage and worried about it and complaining that it wasn't the right mileage and life went on passing me by. I went on suffering because I had assumed things were gonna be one way and they weren't. But the truth is is that life is just life and life offers us whatever is directly in front of us. And letting go of assumptions allows us to just soak that part of living in whether it's painful or or pleasure full. So don't make assumptions you guys. If you are making assumptions see if you can let him go and check him out with curiosity. Hope you guys have an awesome day. Thank you so much for being here with me. If you found this to be valuable for you. Please hit the Like and Subscribe button. If you're facing particular struggles that you need help with or roadblocks that you're running into. Please submit a question I'd be happy to answer it for you.

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About the author

"The Wandering Therapist"
I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in Northern Utah. I help men, women, and couple's heal their hearts and relationships from addiction and trauma. I love this process of redemption and I have faith you can experience it too.
based in Logan, Utah.