Social Connection during Social Distancing

Good morning you guys. Tyler your wandering therapist here. I am out in Providence Canyon trying to get a run in. Trying to enjoy some fresh air and clear my head with all the craziness that's going on in the world right now. I just wanted to take a minute and share a couple of thoughts and points that have been going through me as things have been changing. Yesterday I was asked by my company that I work for to make sure that I stay home and do all of my appointments in an online way. And of course I understand that; everyone else is going to do those remote ways of trying to work if possible. I feel really fortunate that we live in a world where it's possible to continue to stay at work to continue to try to help people and in some ways try to stay connected, even though it's probably not ideal. And the hardest part for me is my groups. It's going to be a little bit more of a challenge even though we have the technology to be able to do it, to connect with people. The groups are a little bit more difficult to run online. The other concern that I've had, and this was the discussion I had back and forth with the company that I work with, is that while we're going remote and still able to do some of the work I happen to work in an industry where some of my clients would really benefit from some actual human interaction that's face-to-face. Some of the types of treatment that we do sort of require face-to-face treatment. And it makes it really difficult to be able to be effective in what we're trying to do. And my biggest concern with this whole health crisis that people are going through is that—I wonder how many of us are actually taking a look at, besides the physical health crisis that we're trying to avert, what are the effects that we're having on, not just the economy, but on our mental health. When I hear the term social distancing, I understand what we're trying to do; I think it's a great idea. I think I think we have to do it to try to help make sure that we're staying healthy. But the term social distancing almost makes me cringe inside because it feels like it's the opposite of what we teach here as part of principles of wholehearted living. So yesterday I was just thinking about what am I going to do what do?What do I have access to to try to make sure that I'm staying connected to people in a meaningful helpful way? Now one of the benefits of this change is that we've been at home more we've been spending time with our family more. Priorities are shifting and that's been a really good thing. I hope everybody else is experiencing that where you're being drawn back into those places where the people closest to you that you have to spend your time with you're experiencing good things with them. Some of the things that we're doing at home are things like playing more board games and we've been developing meal plans with the kids so each of the kids can take responsibility for planning and cooking meals. My wife and my kids have gotten onboard with a whole bunch of projects that they're doing where they're painting new rooms, and they're redoing furniture, and reupholstering things—I’ve got a lot of projects going on at my house. But it's given it's giving my kids and my wife and myself some meaningful opportunity to spend some really good time with each other. I just wanted to share maybe one or two other tips and thoughts that I think would be really helpful in a time like this where we're being pressed further and further away from other people especially in the community is that there might be some ways that we could still experience the benefit of connection, even if we're not face to face with people on the first one is to take a moment and find a way to express gratitude to people in your life that you may not be able to see in person. I personally like the idea of writing a note by hand because it seems more meaningful when it comes by hand. But writing a note by hand and putting it in the mail in a weird way will lead to connection a day or two later when that person gets that letter in the mail and gets to think about and feel the blessing of having you in their life. Another thing that I thought about is that, in order to feel connected is, to take take time maybe to unplug a tiny bit from all the chaos and craziness with the news and to slow back down and take an inventory of meaningful relationships and and maybe express to people what they actually mean to you. Whether that's through a phone call or a voicemail. Obviously a letter like we just talked about but a kind words spoken in any manner will only yield deeper connection I had something happen a couple of days ago. Where I had one of my clients out of the blue. Somebody who I haven't talked to in a really long time. Just sent an email to me that said hey Tyler I know you probably don't even think me about me anymore. It's been a couple of years since I've talked to them but they said I was just sitting here in my own workspace today and thinking about my life and how it's changed and how grateful I am that my relationship with you helped me make those changes. And for me it was a really big boost for my day. It reminded me that the work that I do matters and and that the relationships that I develop with people even though I may not see them they matter. They make a difference and it filled my heart with warmth and it made my day. And so I am committed to try to make sure that I'm doing that for somebody else and I challenge you guys to think about doing the same. Look for ways, think about ways, be creative to make sure that we're staying connected because this whole social distancing thing is actually not really great for our mental health. And there there are some ways that we can make sure that we're staying connected. So thank you guys. Hope you guys have a great day. Stay positive.