In this episode, Tyler delves into the art of effective communication and relationship-building. Drawing inspiration from equine therapy, he introduces the concept of three distinct zones of interaction: the stop zone, the relationship zone, and the motivation zone. Tyler highlights the power of choosing the right zone to foster genuine connections and shares practical tips for navigating conversations, whether it’s with loved ones, colleagues, or acquaintances.
November 21, 2023
what's going on you guys Tyler wandering therapist here out our beautiful morning I wanted to just talk with you a little bit about a skill and something to consider if you're looking to keep good relationships with other people especially when you have to have a hard conversation uh I was at a training this last weekend where we went and learned how to do equin assisted activities equin assisted therapy which is where you use horses to help people with their issues for therapy so I love the idea of being able to have an experience when we're trying to change when we're trying to grow and that's what the horse is offer and I learned something there that kind of hit home for me in how to maybe have better and closer relationships so I want to share it with you guys today and it's this idea that with a horse we were taught that there are three zones with a horse that you can focus on there's right up front in front of their face which is the Stop and Go Zone the stop zone so if you go straight up to the horse from the from head on you're actually going to be stopping the horse there's what they call the relationship Zone which is where you come up next to the horse kind of to the front shoulder of the horse on the side and you can then spend your time building the relationship with the horse that's where you pet them along the withers of their neck that's where you are able to stay close with them and stay soft with them and that's how you build a relationship and then there's what they call the motivation Zone which is the pressure you put on the back end of the horse to make them move move because whoever moves each other's feet is whoever's in charge when you speak horse language and I got thinking about that and how often we as people we think we're trying to build the relationship when we're actually in the stop Zone when we're face to face we're up in front of somebody we're having a confrontation with somebody and we're actually stopping or shutting them down rather than trying to have a conversation where we can build the relationship and how true it is for me personally when somebody is talking with me if they're side by side with me if we're driving in a car together if we're going on a walk together if they're even just sitting next to me I have a much better conversation with with a much more likely outcome of feeling connected to them and feeling close to them and feeling respected by them rather than a face-to-face head-on confrontation right so sometimes it's necessary to have a head-on confrontation in order to change things in order to set boundaries in order to keep our self respect whatever that is but if if we're looking to build relationships we might be best served remembering to be in the relationship Zone when we're trying to build those relationships get up next to somebody whether whether it's with your spouse or your kids or somebody at work sit side by side to them move with them go on a drive with them go on a walk with them and uh you'll much more likely to be effective at building that relationship with them have a great one guys thank you so much for being here with me if you found this to be valuable for you please hit the like And subscribe button if you're facing particular struggles that you need help with or roadblocks that you're running into please submit a question I'd be happy to answer it for [Music] you