“What should I say to a friend who’s having problems with anxiety? ” In this session, we are going to dive deep into the things you should say, some things you should avoid saying to a loved one or a friend who struggles with this mental illness.
November 21, 2022
what do I say to a friend who is having problems with anxiety today we're going to talk a little bit about a couple of things you should say and a couple of things that you probably should avoid saying to a loved one or a friend who has anxiety [Music] all right guys we're talking anxiety today we're talking about how to help somebody who you love who has anxiety and this is a hard topic because a lot of times we really want to help the people around us that we love and a lot of times we see that they're having a problem maybe even before they're willing to admit that they're having a problem with anxiety you're noticing a friend that's maybe pulling away from you a little bit in the relationship or they're having these amped up panic attacks maybe even or you're noticing that they're really struggling to manage the stress in their life but they don't want to admit it yet and you want to be a good friend but you also don't want to cause any problems you also don't want to feel like you're judging them or them to feel like you're judging them and so what do you do as a friend when you know that your loved one is struggling with anxiety a couple of don'ts first all right A lot of times we don't know what else to do so we step right in into problem solving mode and we decide to take it upon ourselves to solve somebody else's problems for them and we'll step in right into a conversation where we'll say to to our child or our friend or our loved one I can see that you've got anxiety and this is what you need to do about it and if you step into a conversation right off the bat with all of the solutions there's a good chance that your loved one or your friend is not going to be in a place yet to hear all the good ideas that you have and they will end up feeling misunderstood invalidated and they're not as likely to want to take your suggestions so slow play the solutions don't jump in right into having to fix the problems another thing that you don't want to say when you're talking with a friend about their problems in an effort to try to make them feel better A lot of times if you get them talking about what's causing the anxiety in their life a lot of times as a friend or a loved one you're trying to make them feel better and you'll use the words like at least at least it's not this bad at least you're not really dealing with all these other things too and in that conversation that at least comment is meant to actually say hey it's not as bad as you think it is or it's meant to help give them perspective but what it feels like is invalidation so here's the things you really want to focus on all right when you approach a friend about anxiety approach them first with sincere love and pure curiosity a lot of times as friends we're trying to make someone feel better by trying to give them perspective and say well it's not as bad as it could be or at least this or at least that but that feels invalidating so instead of using at least or at least waiting to use the words at least step in first with some true curiosity and true concern for a friend a lot of times we're worried to have these conversations because they feel vulnerable but no friend has ever been disappointed by another friend who comes to them and says hey I've really been thinking about you I'm actually a little bit worried about you and I just kind of want to know blank I want to know what's going on in your life or I want to know how you're handling the stress in your life or I want you to know that I see you and I'm worried about how you're handling the stress in your life and I just want you to know that I'm here I'm ready to listen I want to understand if you seek understanding and approach with curiosity you're opening the door to more connection and you're inviting a conversation and that conversation alone could be the thing that helps with the anxiety itself it could also be the thing that helps facilitate a deeper conversation that could lead to some other ideas about how to get help whether that's pursuing professional counseling or then being able to insert some of the tools that you might have for them of being able to go work out or go for a walk regularly or some of the other tools for managing stress in their life that Curiosity and that genuine concern will be the thing that shines through so when you notice these things happening in a friend's life show up with curiosity genuine concern and then the third thing is try to show empathy and empathy is not fixing it for somebody it's not making your feelings about their feelings it's simply being present with what they're experiencing and showing that you're willing to be there to be with them in it that it's okay that they're there that it's a human thing that they're experiencing and that you're not afraid to be there with them in that space and that's an uncomfortable place to be as a friend sometimes because we want to fix it we don't want to see suffering but being with somebody in their pain if they'll let you be there with them might be the most powerful thing that you can do for them so practice empathy genuine concern curiosity that's the best way to help a friend who's struggling with anxiety hopefully that's helpful you guys have a great day thank you so much for being here with me if you found this to be valuable for you please hit the like And subscribe button if you're facing particular struggles that you need help with or roadblocks that you're running into please submit a question I'd be happy to answer it for you