The Best Medicine

Chase: Welcome to Wholehearted by Love Strong! Tyler and Chase here! So, coming down this morning, I had a lot on my mind. The first thing I wanted to do was–what’s up, Rooster?Ty: Hey, Roo!Chase: Dingle-Boy, poppin’ on the scene. He’s off again! Ty’s got–Ty: I’ve got my Garmin on Rooster today to see how many miles he runs in this 20 minutes that we sit and talk so… I’m guessing it’s going to be up over six or seven (miles).Chase: It’s kind of amazing because everytime I see him on one side–so you know, right now he’s coming from the north. He’s he’s headed east… I swear the next time I see him he’s going coming up the mountain from the west.Ty: Somehow, somehow! It’s amazing!Chase: Yeah! It’s kind of like those scenes from Superman or something where he wraps around the world and catches the bullet on the other side!Ty: That’s kind of how he is! That’s how Rooster is!Chase: Yeah, so we’ll see what is his paths and his stats are today. It might even be to help Ty get some steps in on his counter, I don’t know! (Laughter)Ty: Exactly! That’s what I do, I just use him, now!Chase: Yeah, there you go. I actually did find out… I accidentally looked at my health app on my phone, and I saw that I had put in over 3 miles yesterday.Ty: That’s awesome!Chase: Right? And that’s a regular work day! I was thinking, “I never had my phone in my pocket when I was cruising around the office… That doesn’t really make a ton of sense.” Then I realized that I put my phone in my pocket while I’m biking to work, so it’s catching all that. It’s counting that as steps, so I got like “6,000 steps” the other day, and they’re total bologna. (Laughter) I’m a little disappointed that the phone method is not as accurate.Ty: It makes you feel good when you see it. It just doesn’t change your body at all!Chase: No, not at all! So maybe placebo’s coming in and helping us out a little bit. I’m not sure that’s how it works, but…. Coming down this morning, I was thinking about– I got in the car there’s a book that Ty had suggested called “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie, and I started listening to it yesterday. I wanted to pick up where I left off. So, I went to go throw it on, I realized I hadn’t downloaded it yet on my phone. So I was just sitting there thinking, “Well crap, what am I going to do for the next 2 hours?” I love driving in the car, it’s just such a nice time to sit and be with yourself.Ty: It’s meditative.Chase: Oh, yeah. It can be! I ended up coming up with jokes all morning. I was just thinking about jokes, I don’t know why! That’s where my mind was at was, “Hey, got two and a half hours. Why don’t you just pretend like you’re on a stage doing some standup and see what you can crank out?” (2:51) So I’m not going to tell any–well, we’ll see!Ty: You can’t say that without telling a joke! (Laughter)Chase: Alright! So, I got a co-worker who’s got a farm in Costa Rica and she was telling me that the police there do something a little different than police in America: instead of having a gun in a holster for their gun they have bananas! (Laughter) In a scene, they’re trying to catch a “perp” (perpatrator), they pull out the banana and they’re like, “Don’t move!” And if the perp moves–I love calling them perps–then they shoot the banana, and then they throw the banana peel. (Laughter) And that’s what gets them, the banana peel! They slip, and then they actually spin three times per the rules of Mario Kart Mario Kart, and that gives time for the cops to slap the cuffs on. (Laughter)Ty: Okay! That’s a good thing that you’re training as a young child playing Mario Kart has paid off on your standup!Chase: Honestly! Yeah, so take that, Mom! One of our three viewers!Ty: Exactly!Chase: All the time spent at Alan and Daniel’s house paid off!Ty: There you go!Chase: Obviously!Ty: Well, that’s actually an interesting thought, that you turned all of your media off and you just sat with your own mind and for some reason it was humor that came out. Why do you think that’s where your brain went?Chase: Aw man… So, two things: the first thing is your wife, my sister, Rhi sent me the the guy Nate Bargatze to listen to. Chels and I listened to him–hilarious. He’s clean, hilarious, funny, interesting delivery, everything about it… I just fell in love with. So I kept on looking up different clips from him throughout the week, and one of them was is a YouTube video titled “Jokecology.” (4:54) He does the bit about the dead horse, and seeing the dead horse and how he is very obviously dead. And, everything… You know it’s funny, I know it’s funny… He breaks down that joke with a commentator. I was thinking about jokes! That was on my mind this week, is the value of jokes. This might seem kind of weird but when I was pulling into town here, there was a Hispanic lady driving in a van. She pulled out, she looked a little bit sad, and I had this feeling–just an instant thought–that I feel like maybe came from God that, “Hey, you should be able to tell jokes that everyone thinks are funny, including that lady.” And it was the quickest little thought…Ty: Just to lift your day!Chase: Yeah! Then, you know, coming in and talking to you this morning–Ty and I, we talk a little bit when we’re walking up the mountain–and some of the stuff that you experience in your line of work is very different from what I experience. Mine is like, “Hey, the prices are wrong on the bikini tops. They need to be updated.” (Laughter) Dang it! But yours are like, “Hey, there’s somebody who’s really struggling emotionally and they are at a critical point right now.” And dangerous point, maybe even a life-threatening point, for a lot of your clients, right?Ty: Right.Chase: (6:28) So, bikini top is kind of like “dang it!” Whereas “my friend’s life is in danger” is not as petty.Ty: Right. Yeah, it gets heavy, but as you’re talking and bringing up this topic–what we were talking about on the way up here–was this situation with one of my friends who’s been suicidal over the last couple of days. I was just telling you how heavy I felt and how burdensome it feels to carry that. But thinking about this issue and topic of, you know, having a good joke or humor and the power of laughter made me think of a study that I learned when I was working for the drug courts. They actually have something called Laughing Clubs. People get together and they just sit and laugh! I remember hearing this concept and so–there’s actually like medicinal benefit to just laughter! So I remembered hearing that in my training, and so the very next week in my groups, I pull my whole group–it’s ten recovering drug addicts–and I said, “All right! For mindfulness today guys we are going to do a Laughing Club!” (Laughter) And they’re like, “What’s a Laughing Club?” And I say, “I’m gonna start laughing, and you guys just laugh if you feel like laughing!” I just burst out in this big, fake laugh. At first they’re like, “This guy’s weird. Why am I here? If the legal system didn’t make me, I’d be gone!”Chase: Oh no!Ty: But then, all of a sudden, two people in this corner start laughing, and then people start laughing at their laugh, and then laughter becomes this contagious thing! By the end of it, I think it was maybe 2 minutes long, all of us were laughing. All of us felt better! There’s something to that, with the power of laughter. Makes me think of the old Reader’s Digest section with “Laughter is…” What do they call it?Chase: “…the Best Medicine.”Ty: –the best medicine. It really is! It’s got some medicinal purposes to it. (8:22) Just a stupid joke here just brightened my day. I can’t wait to hear the rest of them, but I–Chase: I’m disappointed that you called it a joke!Ty: They’re the type that I think you should save and tell my daughters because they will actually laugh harder!Chase: Honestly, I think that’s the other part–everytime I come down to your place, I know that I’ve got at least a small audience of girls: four girls, where it’s a perfect time for me to boost my self-esteem and confidence! That helps!Ty: My daughters, they love a good, stupid joke–Chase: Corny!Ty: Yes, corny.Chase: They love the jokes. Which is part of the reason I married Chelsea. She loves cheese! And, I mean that in both the literal and figurative–her name’s Chelsea, and her parents called her “Cheesy” (said in a Filipino accent) growing up. I don’t know if that’s what kind of set her on the track, but it’s very apparent when you spend time with her little jokes.Ty: She is pretty cheesy.Chase: Oh, it’s cheese.Ty: Yeah, but that’s what makes life good. It adds savor to it, right?Chase: Yeah! (Laughter)Ty: It’s a beautiful thing.Chase: That’s right, that’s absolutely true. I was thinking about how a couple weeks ago, one of the things that we do in our church is we spend time going out and visiting people in our congregation; trying to uplift and support them in whatever way, just become friends with them really. One of the guys that I support and minister to, he’s an older guy in his 60s, almost 70s. Probably 70’s, actually, at this point. He’s a little, short guy, got a big belly and kind of reminds me of Grandpa French mixed with Pappaw. I’ve told you–I’ve gone fishing with him three times, now. He’s fun to be around! He’s been in a real funk lately. (10:29) He’s got depression and he just had to move from his previous home into a smaller home that doesn’t have some of the same features that he loves. So, part of his life is that he loves ham radio. He’s an amateur radio guy. Loves spending time doing that. He can’t do that anymore because he can’t get the antenna onto his building. A few other things that are kind of in this vein of: life used to be this, and then it has come down to this. He had to have hip surgery last fall, and it’s still taking a toll on him. He’s older and you know what that’s like having the hip surgery that you had. But, while I was spending time with him; this last couple weeks ago and chatting with him and it’s like, “Man, this is a pit. We’re in a pit right now.” I don’t know how… How do you help somebody when I don’t have money to offer him, I’m broke myself… I don’t have some of the skills that would benefit him with ham radio, or whatever the thing is. I’ve got a listening ear, I’m here to help share that, but a lot of the time that doesn’t necessarily lift you very high. It’s just kind of a “Hey, I know that I’m supported and loved,” [sort of message], but to actually lift somebody from in the pit, to higher, how do you do that? I like to turn the humor as frequently as I can. Sometimes it’s not appropriate, but I found that even in some of the darkest of moments, that a well-placed joke can kick the crack out of the moment.Ty: Yeah, totally. Just lightens everything.Chase: Yeah! And good segway–I told him that Chelsea’s pregnancy, she’s getting very big, but that he was also looking a little big! I said his belly looked big! I kept comparing him to Chelsea and making fun of him! he burst into laughter and was like, “So you come over and see that I’m doing terrible and you call me fat! (Laughter)Ty: But, he laughed about it, right? Because he also knew that you loved him.Chase: Yeah! But, don’t go calling people fat, that’s a bad idea. Not suggested. But, it is an example of humor taking a role in helping lift. Why would you think that would be the case? Why is the Laugh Club effective? What does it do?Ty: I’m sure there’s a chemical response. You know, when we laugh, there’s a chemical flood that happens with laughing.Chase: Right.Ty: I also think that when we laugh, typically not all the time, but when we laugh it’s in conjunction with connecting to something or somebody. So, one of the reasons we connect to comedians so much is that they tell stories that get us to connect just enough and go, “OH, I’m that guy!” You know? Like, “Hey, I do that!” or “My kids do that!” So, we connect to it. It’s almost a form of empathy in a way. The other thought that was having as you were talking was thinking about my own grandfather. Grandpa Harris, he was one of the most amazing men I had ever met. From the time I knew him from being born on, all I knew was this guy who had just radiance for life and happiness. He was a sucker for for humor. He was in his eighties and he was a substitute teacher and he never missed a day. He had a waiting list of teachers calling because they all wanted Mr. Harris. What he would do is he would show up every day and he’d pull out this little book. He’d handcrafted a hundred and seventy-two jokes or something like that…Chase: Personally curated jokes!Ty: And then he’d be like, “Okay, I need a number!” They would yell out a number, he would pull it open and he’d open the book and say”Oh!” And he’d laugh to himself first, and say, “This is a good one!” Then he would tell the class the joke. And on the first day of any class, he would show up and be like, “Okay, I’m Mr. Harris. I just, I have something to tell you. I’ve got a confession to make. I have AIDS.” He was deaf, and he would go like, “Hearing aids!” (Laughter) He thought he was so funny! All the students would ask, “Who is this guy, right?” But what I found out later, this is that Grandpa, he was actually very depressed at different times in his life. Part of it was over his hearing loss, and part was over the fact that he got made fun of a lot for his hearing loss. But I also think he struggled with some clinical depression.I was able to read his journals after he passed, because I happened to be living in his condominium when he passed, and I saw the wrestling that he did in his journals with his depression. I think his humor was his, it was, his antidepressant and no one would have ever known the clinical depression he had because of who he was with his humor to everybody else. He was a magnet to people people; people loved him. I think it just connects us, you know? I’m sure we could tell ten more stories about Grandpa. He, uh… A fitting way for him to die… (Laughter)Chase: He’s standing on a mountain…Ty: No kidding! With his humor, there’s no other way a guy like this can go! (15:54) But he goes up to Glacier National Park with his second wife, and they go to step to look out of a scenic overlook. All everyone heard as they’re getting kids out of the car was, “Oops!” And Grandpa was gone! (Laughter) He plummeted more than 300 feet to his death!Chase: (Laughter) The first time I heard that joke, everybody was laughing!Ty: It’s not really a joke!Chase: Exactly! (Laughter)Ty: But Grandpa, how else was he going to go? Because he was more fit, than I am, as an 87-year-old! He had clearer mentality than I did as an 87-year-old! He wasn’t gonna go, unless there was something like that. Now every year, about the same time as when he passed, in Sunday dinner or something, we have a toast to the day he done took the plunge! (Laughter)Chase: That is so funny! That’s part of the reason I got such a broad stance every time I’m on camera here; want to make sure that I’m good and stable.Ty: We’re kind of on the edge of this cliff, right now.Chase: No, I’m not ready… To take the tumble… Three hundred feet plummet–that’s terrible and hilarious. (17:12)Ty: It was really… You know, I shouldn’t be laughing.Chase: Right.Ty: We laugh! We don’t know what else to do with something like that.Chas: That’s incredible. Going back to something you said earlier about the dynamic and psychology of laughter: there’s something we connect to. I’ve been kind of analyzing, breaking down, some different comedians and podcasts this last week, partly so that we can get better at this–we need to figure this out–we’re doing great, by the way! But I want to keep on learning how the people that are successful, what are they doing that’s that’s good and how can we pull out the best part of ourselves that we can offer and provide a service and some valuable way? I get enough out of it just coming up here, you and I. It’s it’s a blast! It’s all so beautiful, it’s fulfilling, we’ve got that on lock. I look forward to this. But as far as the actual content and information, I want to learn more to know how does this other stuff get taken in? How is this perceived? One of the show’s I listen to it, was pretty funny! I scanned through a few of them, most of them were terrible… One of them that was pretty funny is the Judge John Hodgman Show. He’s a pretend judge who brings out the most frivolous of cases and then makes a ruling on the case. A perfect example, the one I listened to yesterday, it was a couple that the debate was: my husband sends me too many house listings on e-mail and through Facebook Messenger. That’s it, you know! That’s so dumb! But, he has the funniest ideas on everything related to that. I started to connect to it because of some of the things that he was saying and thinking about how we connect to other people through our experiences and finding that common ground. So the best comedians, in my opinion, are the ones that are able to not be so far removed from humanity, but should be right in the thick of it and nail it. Partly because I want to be able to hear a joke, and then look at somebody else’s eyes and be like “Yeah! You get it! You get it! We know.” That’s one of the best feelings, is hearing a good joke, taking it in, and connecting with it. Then looking around to be like, “Who else? Who else got this?”Ty: Sharing it with somebody else!Chase: Right! It’s very rare that I’ll listen to comedy by myself and laugh out loud. If I do it’s one that I want to be able to take and share with somebody else because I know they’ll have the same thing. I think it’s so valuable to to have, in anything that we do, whether it be a serious conversation, try and connect about the thing we’re talking about. Or if it’s a funny thing, try to connect. Part of my goal is to contribute humor and ideas and my personality in a way that helps the two of us connect and for our audience and probably more than anything our family. I think I’m realizing that this is going to be a valuable asset more for a family.Ty: Hopefully! People closest to us, and hopefully that ripple effect continues to go outward, as we try to just share the things that do work for us. And, like you said, we are a continual work in progress.Chase: That’s right!Ty: So yeah, I think that’s a good topic, especially for today, just because I was feeling so heavy. I actually physically feel almost like a burn come out just thinking about the concept of humor. Maybe just to share one more thing today before we end: there’s a skill that I teach my clients when they’re struggling to regulate their emotions. It’s called the the opposite action skill. With every emotion, there is paired to it a natural reaction response. So sadness typically shuts us down and brings us in; depression pulls us back, away from people; anger causes us to usually want to fight and get amped up, adrenaline. One of those skills that we teach is, when I’m having an emotional response that isn’t congruent with the situation that I’m in, it helps to act opposite to the natural response. So if I’m feeling really really depressed and low, one of the best things I can do for myself, unless there’s like legitimate depression you know where there’s something going on that I’m sad about that I need to solve or fix, but if it’s unjustified for the moment I need to go in and engage myself in something that is exactly opposite of the natural. So I can go watch a comedian, or hear a few jokes, or call somebody and try to find someplace to laugh, or even just be active smiling… There’s there’s proof that just turning your lips upward actually emits all sorts of chemicals in your brain. Yet we walk around the world, most people have their lips turned down! It takes more muscles to turn their lips down and I get less chemical from it. But the opposite action, that can work for anger, for anything else when it’s an unjustified emotion, we act opposite. It’s an intentional action. And that’s something that’s really important because we walk around and autopilot all the day, but we can actually change how we feel by acting differently. So it’s pretty simple and basic, but it is a skill that works and it works well when it’s put into practice frequently.So, I have one more thing before we close today, do you have anything else?Chase: Nope.Ty: All right, joke! My favorite! This is my favorite! It’s been told so many times and my daughter’s hate me telling it. Do you know what it is?Chase: I’m guessing it in my head…Ty: All right! What did the Buffalo say to his son when he went away to college? Bi-son! (Laughter)Chase: Oh wow! Nailed it! You nailed it!