After the honeymoon phase, when the initial excitement wanes, that’s when the true journey of marriage begins. But how do we navigate the inevitable struggles that arise with our spouse and remain committed to loving them? In this enlightening video, we explore the transformative power of choosing love through the challenges. Join us as we uncover practical strategies for strengthening your marriage, fostering open communication, and embracing vulnerability. Discover how to overcome obstacles, deepen your connection, and cultivate a love that withstands the test of time. Are you ready to learn how to choose love and nurture a thriving relationship?
June 30, 2023
foreign what's going on you guys Tyler your wandering therapist here for those of you guys who don't know me uh I'm a licensed spiritual family therapist I just share my thoughts and some hopefully helpful tips when I'm out in the mountains where I like to spend most of my time I I actually just barely got home to Utah from from Arizona I was in Arizona this last weekend I went to a wedding of a friend of ours their son got married just wanted to throw a shout out to you Carter and Ashland congratulations on your wedding I'm excited for you it was really fun to see this couple in the very first stages of their marriage relationship so excited to be with each other you could couldn't help but see just like the energy rating radiating out from both of them Carter's face is so excited he looks so happy he looks so ready to go take on the next chapter of his life and I was just thinking about how wonderful that is that we kind of somehow have built into us this mechanism to become Twitter painted and become in love with somebody and how good that feels when we find someone like that and we look into the future and all we can see is really good things fun things hopes dreams and this ability to go on a journey with a partner and I wanted to talk a little bit about how that's a great part of marriage but inevitably what ends up happening for every marriage including what's going to happen probably for Carter that eventually that marriage is going to run into some struggles and that's where that's where I think the real work of loving begins and what a gift it actually is to be in a marriage where eventually after everything wears off there's a choice that two people have to make to love one another through their actions and through their work and to build loyalty to build commitment to continue to fight for passion and to continue to get to know each other and it's amazing to me that we can go a whole lifetime and never fully know everything about our partners because there's always something new to learn there's always something changing but one of the biggest gifts that I think happens in a marriage is that over time we become the mirror image in so many ways for the work that our partners need to do and they do the same for us so my wife becomes a gift to me over time where she can point out the things the rough edges that I have because of her response to me where when I honk at somebody in traffic because I'm losing my temper she's the one who's like why did you have to do that like there was no big reason to do that and then I have to fight with my own defensiveness and I have to go inside myself and figure out why I was upset and frustrated or that when we bring two cultures together from two different families and two different family systems I can look at my family system and feel like it's totally normal and my wife comes at it from such a different angle because she was raised in such a different way and that tension and that conflict and that friction actually allows me a chance to look inwardly at the way that I was raised and to assess the things that I'm grateful for but also the things that maybe I don't agree with or want to change in the way that I believe that I was just automatically believing or I get to be a reflection to my wife of being forgiving in areas where it's difficult to be forgiving because maybe I'm good at the Forgiveness part and she's struggling with elements of that the gift is is that we get to have a safe space in one another knowing that we love each other that we're committed to one another but that we always have something up in our face that's reminding us of the growth that we have in front of us that the change that we get to make and I think that's an absolute gift even though it comes in the form sometimes of struggle and tension and friction so if you're married if you're in a relationship whatever you're going through whatever struggles you're having which inevitably there will be and there are I wonder if there's a way to look at that from the perspective of how is this a mirror image how is my partner a mirror image of the things that I get to work on and that I get to improve on and if you start to look at it from that perspective you'll start to see your partner and their responses to you even the painful ones as an absolute gift so hope that's helpful for you have a great one thank you so much for being here with me if you found this to be valuable for you please hit the like And subscribe button if you're facing particular struggles that you need help with or roadblocks that you're running into please submit a question I'd be happy to answer it for you [Music]