This world is at war with our soul. It is out to wound it and consume it. The truth is that our society operates on a model that is designed to make you feel empty, numb, depressed, anxious, and hopeless. The business world operates on a system that helps to create your misery so that they can sell you their solution. The less in touch you are with your emotions, heart, and real needs, the more money you spend in order to feel better.
The truth is that most of us find ourselves living in a sort of autopilot from time to time. We get out of bed, consume something that wakes us up, and then get busy going about the basic routines of our day. Getting kids to school, going to work only to avoid working by surfing the internet or lusting after everybody else’s public life on social media while trying to get through the day on a steady drip of diet coke. Finally we drive home, maybe work in a few minutes with the kids. If we are really productive we make dinner instead of buying a 5 dollar pizza and count down the minutes until the kids are in bed and we can finish the night mindlessly watching Netflix or sports.
Too often we live a sort of numb existence going through the motions, but never actually living. We choose entertainment that is actually not feeding our souls but continuing to kill them. We are a world full of people who are losing heart and the interesting thing is that it is taking less and less brain power to do it.
It takes intentional action and living to stay in touch with our hearts and to actually LIVE the lives we want. It takes the ability to slow down and get to know our own emotions, desires, passions, and REAL needs from time to time.
Listed below are a couple of proven suggestions that can help you to reconnect and stay connected to your own heart and live a more intentional and vibrant way of life.
Take time to slow down and check in with yourself. I have my clients who are working recovery from addiction set an alarm on their phones to do a check-in using the triangle of awareness a couple of times a day. This is done by taking time to connect the three points of physical sensation, thought processes, and emotions.
- First, take a moment to scan your body from head to toe, inside and out, making a simple note of what the body is feeling. (Ie, I feel a slight ache behind my eyes, my jaw is tight, neck stiff, chest is tight with pounding heart rate, butterflies in my stomach)
- Next, recognize any thoughts that seem to be prevalent. (“I don’t know if I will meet the deadline”,” I am worried I won’t get home for my daughter’s game”,” how are we going to make the budget this month”?)
- Finally, see if you can name the emotion you are feeling….”My body and my thoughts would indicate that I am feeling anxious and stressed”.
Over time you will be amazed at how often we are out of touch with what is really going on and will find the ability to respond more accurately to your real needs as you become more self-aware.
- Establish the habit of DOING a few things every day. Intentional living keeps the mind and heart connected. Each day is a quest to find and nurture your heart. Learning to engage in a few activities each day as a way of life helps to add savor to living. Some proven activities include but are not limited to the following:
- Exercise
- Spiritual practices (prayer, music, scripture reading, etc)
- Mindfulness/Meditation/Yoga
- Social connection
- Service to others
- Developing hobbies
- Practicing gratitude
- Working toward personal goals
At the end of the day the goal is not the amount of items that you are able to check off, but that you engaged on purpose in these types of activities enough to remember that you are alive.
One of the ways that I frequently connect to my heart is by listening to uplifting (in my opinion) music. One Republic’s song “I lived” has become a sort of anthem that I use to remind me to engage fully in the life that I have in front of me. Give it a listen and then get busy living!
– Tyler Patrick, LMFT