Is It Healthy To Masturbate?

What is up you guys. TYLER HERE YOUr WANDERING therapist. I just had a question that came up is a really good question is one respond to it. The question was Is it healthy to masturbate. It seems for it seems to me like it's a good way to relieve stress. And you guys as a therapist who works in this arena all the time this question comes up over and over and over again and there's there's actually a pretty good debate going on around whether or not it's healthy. And so I don't know if I can fully give you an answer other than share some of my opinions with you and maybe a few things to think about to to add to the context of of the question itself. So one of the problems with a lot of us is Christian men is that we've been taught that masturbation is better our whole life and we feel a lot of shame over that and the shame causes us a lot of problems and it leads to other ways of acting out and and things so if anything I'd love for us to remove the shame around the topic and just take a look at it from some logistical and from some like emotional kinds of standpoints in addition to the religious standpoint. So. I would say. Absolutely like every one of us who's watching this video right now has read the question can can acknowledge that masturbation is definitely a way to relieve stress. It's just a matter of fact like when you have the response sexually when you orgasm and come to climax there's a whole bunch of chemicals that fire off in your brain that make you feel good and definitely relieve stress. It takes up pressure away. Yeah. So so the fact is is that yes that's true it will relieve stress. What I'd like for you to consider is what are the potential risks of doing that in order to relieve stress. And what are the potential prices that you're going to pay. So as Christian men you know and there's even a mixed bag of reviews. As Christian men. But my understanding of the law of chastity is is that we have no sexual relations except for those to whom we're married. Right. So depends on how you want to interpret that. I don't see having a sexual relationship with just myself as falling in the realm of the law of chastity. So for me personally I don't masturbate I don't believe in masturbation I believe it's healthy overall from a spiritual perspective from a physiological mental and emotional perspective. Here's a couple of other things to think about is is that that sexual response that you have is given to you by God. It's a good thing and it's so good that God has given some some rules around it to make sure that it becomes a healthy thing in the right context. And sex should be for our pleasure. It should also be for connection. And that's where I think we run into issues here. If I am able to go and relieve my own stress without needing anybody else on one hand that's nice but on the other hand it takes me away from connection with other people where I could go and find connection whether that's with my spouse or my my partner or. A conversation with somebody else. We miss out on the connection piece if we're always coping with our own problems emotionally in those ways. The other thing that makes it risky is is because of the. Physiological chemical response it can become compulsive and it can become an addiction to masturbate. And an addiction is what happens when we go to the same place to the same thing over and over again because it produces that result that we want but because we go there so often the brain starts to rewire itself. And I always look at an addiction where the rate and duration of its use increases to increase pleasure or decrease pain. And when such doing such things would would create some level of manageability in life. And to me it's the same thing as using any type of a substance. If I'm having to rely on a substance to manage you know if I need alcohol every night to manage my stress and then it manages my stress but then my brain get smart and says well if it manages stress it'll manage boredom and it manages boredom it'll manage rejection of a manager's rejection it'll manage anger. Eventually I have taught my brain to emotionally cope by checking out through that alcohol instead of through healthy means that are gonna keep me connected to living. And I think masturbation potentially runs that risk for some of us because it's so powerful and it can produce some of that chemical response even though it's being produced internally in the brain in the body instead of being ingested through some type of substance like alcohol or drugs. So. I'm giving a big long speech on things I don't know if I've given you a clear answer other than to say these are some things to think about that. What are your goals for it if it's for stress relief only. It's going to relieve stress but it might be coming at the cost of risking a compulsive behavior one where you're eventually not gonna be able to stop even if you wanted to. You're going to risk maybe not connecting with others as a result because you'll be self-serving and self-centered in the way that you're coping. And and I believe in a whole hearted life that leads to connection with other people. So those are the risks. If that's your goal then you're probably gonna achieve that goal. You might be picking up those other risks. If your goal is something different. If your goal is to use your sexual powers for connection then then I suggest you consider even though it's tempting to you consider not masturbating and learning to cope in other ways by reaching out to other people and through healthy forms of relaxation and through healthy hobbies and other interests that will connect you to your heart and mind to yourself and ultimately to God. So something to think about. I'd love to hear what you guys opinions are on it. I love to have a discussion about it too we can continue the discussion so please post your replies below. And you guys are doing awesome work. Keep up the good work. Thank you so much for being here with me. If you found this to be valuable for you please hit the Like and Subscribe button. If you're facing particular struggles that you need help with or roadblocks that you're running into. Please submit a question I'll be happy to answer it for you.